Just as an illustration of the sense of place and community something as simple as biking can give you:

So I’m riding home from school on my bike a few moments ago and I pull up to the Huger-Blossom intersection; both of these are 4 lane roads so its a big intersection. Traffic is bad so I pull to the side and hit the crosswalk button. Then I look over and another guy, prolly in his 40s or 50s pulls up on his bike. He looks at me and smiles a knowing smile at me crossing on foot over the crosswalk. I shrug and smile back.

That would’ve been enough to demonstrate something you don’t normally get in cars.

But then he shouts over to me, “I hate this intersection!”

“Me too!” I shout back.

“I always pull up like this otherwise people won’t let you cross.” he says.

“Yeah, I normally do too,” I say. “But today, traffic is real heavy. Once I get to the other side I use the bike lane though.”

“Oh, I cruise across the intersection then get on the sidewalk. I hate getting splashed in the bike-lane.”

I laugh. “Doesn’t mind me too much.”

The light turns green and I walk across as he bikes through the intersection and then swerves onto the sidewalk. I do the opposite. I am going a lot faster than him so I catch up.

“Not too bad over here!” I shout as I pass.

“Yeah, but they need to clean it up!”

“Yeah, for sure”

And I’m gone.

I may not see this guy again but we both shared something. Something personal, something mutual.  The humaness of it was refreshing.

And so it goes.

Been reading a lot of Vonnegut lately and I absolutely love his style. I was in the shower just now thinking and found that my thoughts were, in many ways, being expressed in the tone of Vonnegut. So I decided to come over here and write a clip out in the style. Not sure if its particularly good…nothing like he actually puts together…but it was fun. I’ll write the rest of it later.

In one part of the galaxy there is a small blue and green planet named Earth whose inhabitants harbor the belief that they can understand each others existence without any means of really getting inside each others head.  This phenomenon was the most obnoxious when, like the Earthling named Henry Wellington, you found yourself alone, depressed, and entertaining suicidal thoughts.  Henry wanted, more than anything else in the world, a connection to some other being around him.

One of the first civilizations to discover Earth, the Sestricocus, found this so absurd that they deemed the inhabitants completely dimwitted and decided not to have anything to do with them.  Sestricocians have the ability to share telepathic connections with their closest of friends so that one could know every thought and whim that runs through the people closest to you.  They observed the horrid phenomenon of these Earthlings for a few days, marveling at the way in which they attempted to exchange the contents of their heads by means of symbols, causing all kinds of misunderstandings and misinterpretations.  They watched as wars were fought because of this inability to connect and wondered at these strange and brutal creatures. The Sestricocans briefly considered termininating these poor creatures but felt pity on them and tried to instead help them by communicating with a few people here and there to explain what it is like to exist in a way that you can see into other peoples minds. One of these Earthlings was a man named Jesus. The people killed him for his craziness but his ideas caught on. The Sestricocans watched for another two thousand years as these beings continued to kill each other and make completely incorrect assumptions about other people before leaving in frustration.

On Earth, people of this time thought that God had abandoned them. This was a common assumption for Earthlings throughout time, their world beings so cruel and their interactions so shallow that they couldn’t imagine any higher being sticking around.  Some of these creatures believed that they were created in God’s image, in which case God could be of much help anyways.

Incidentally, the favorite activities of the inhabitants of Earth involved the liquids in their bodies–and it was these liquids that brought a crowd to a dimly lit smoky establishment on a dark street in the middle of a large city. In this place, these humans put liquids in their bodies in hopes that they would find another person to exchange liquids with, using apertures found in the mid part of their bodies.  The first liquid, called alcohol, helped them overcome the incredible difficulty they had with trying to understanding others because of the ineffectiveness of their mind exchanges–which consisted of the vague symbols called words. When exchanged, these were called conversations and they were supposed to convey meaning, but they did so poorly.  Instead of trying to navigate the difficulties of conversation it was easier to take something to forget that you didn’t know hardly anything about the others around you. The more humans drank this alcohol, the more they entertained that they were all kindred, that they could have something to do with each other.

A lot of people at this establishment, called a bar, were there because they wanted to participate in what is called “sexual intercourse,” the process of exchanging liquids through apertures located in the midsection. They wanted to do this because it made their heads all warm and fuzzy inside and made them feel connected to another being.  The Sestricocans found this absurd.  In the report on the Earthlings published back in Sestricocus, the great Earthling expert Fjil Forsfifth, explained “The closest things Earthlings have to a Mindshare is a process involving sticking a large aperture into the various crevices of another Human. During this the two Humans experience a mutual feeling of pleasure and in that pleasure feel like they are connected.”  A Mindshare is the process in which two Sestricocans completely intertwine two people’s minds so that everything is open, clear, and understood between the two Sestricocans.  The report by Fjil Forsfifth was wildly popular in Sestricocus. Whenever a Sestricocan was reluctant about instituting a Mindshare, his friends would chide him: “Don’t be such an Earthling” and they would make little signs, sticking a finger through another finger they had curled into a circle.

On Earth such gestures are considered crude.  For the sake of the idea that it is some real inner connection, being the best they had, they made a good attempt at making it appear sacred and tried not speak of it directly. This, however, was only a formality necessary for the young, the ignorant, and the ones who desired to cling violently to this “intercourse” as a means of connecting two Humans.  By the time the Sestricocans stopped observing Earth, a significant portion of the population had lost this sense of sacredness and replaced it with an obsessive need to have as much of it as possible.

The place Henry Wellington was sitting in was full of these sorts of people, who desperately wanted to feel connected to others.

Henry Wellington, himself,  was considering the implications of suicide…

Its incredible out here, sitting in the dark on the front porch, listening to the rain and watching the lightning.   The sky is lit from the city, giving it that incredibly ominous aura that fits well with the sound of the thunder and rain. In front of me a large spider ignores all of the commotion and is building a nice web.  Frogs are croaking loving it–they are partying the night away, croaking like there’s not tomorrow.  That would be a funny joke if they were dayflies.

So, while I’m out here in the dark listening to the rain…I feel like I should have some deep thoughts. But I’m all deep thoughted out today. Yes, it does happen, believe it or not…and my writing becomes more relaxed and casual–like this I suppose. So instead of trying to come up with something wonderful I am going to just sit here and enjoy the night and toss ideas around for my pieces.

Alright, so I’ve got all sorts of material now for three peices: a memior/personal essay entitled “The Pedestal,” which is about me overcoming my overwhelming sense of pride and trying to understand people; an essay/experience peice on what it is like to first start drinking and some contemplations on why people drink; and a lyric peice on a sense of place and locality.

Hmm, for my personal use, here’s what I got in scenes to work with for the three peices.  First, for the lyric:

• Going to France and the whole foreign experience
• Discovering the Riverwalk–and ppl being friendly there
• Walking to the Vista–and just around town
• Biking for a whole day (which I did today) and how you get a sense of space much more acutely that way, interacting with cars and whatnot
• Getting to know the main places of town–seeing what is here and what people are doing as opposed to staying inside
• Random conversations with people I don’t know–like this random convo today with a guy because I overheard him talking about Wheel of Time
• Sitting out here right now watching the thunder storm
• Spending time in coffee shops
• Darryl asking “what is the most important thing you could change right now to make your life better” My response: “Spend more time outside.”
• My notes on lawns.

That should be plenty of material for that one. Now…lots of material to mix up and play with for the other two pieces as well…not sure which will go with which exactly. For those who are really upset about me drinking and whatnot, go ahead and stop reading here.

• Watching other people drink before, like when in France or at the first bar I went to (where I didn’t drink)
• All of the material and whatnot from my 21 and Sober peice
• All of the tastes one is not accustomed to when you don’t drink–the bitter and the raw
• Ben Forney’s quote I’ve quoted far too many times at this point
• Nathan convincing me to drink my first beer–and the incredibly pleasant conversation that resulted over it
• Cultural gaps and simple knowledge one doesn’t know–like not to hold the beer in your hand or that asking to buy someone a drink is a major come-on
• Night at The Whig eating tacos, drinking beer
• Playing GameCube with Nathans friends–oh and the guy’s bug infested apartment
• Going to the liquor store for the first time
• The incredible “twinge” reaction of judgment
• The lack of a sense of balance and responsibility–and how this originates from the setting of boundaries
• Drinking through the bottle of Absolute with Kayley–playing halo and whatnot–realizing the value of alcohol in simply relaxing a tense situation and feeling a comraderie
• The “sophisticated” tastes–spending a weekend with Marty and Darryl and the wine they let me try as well as the gin–which was disgusting. Discovered that yuengling is good though.
• Night at Bull Market, letting Dane make me drinks, really coming down to earth with that one, making conversation, talking about all sorts of stuff…felt like I belonged after I’ve already been gone.  Was really cool…old employees there, and Paul. Let Dane make me his special cocktails and we took a shot of tequila. Then I walked home from the Vista
• Dude, the incredible number of bums around the Vista…is crazy…I gave one a dollar…but I can’t do that…I am running really low on money…lol
• Then the big one: went to Five Points last night with my roommate…took notes on the whole experience in my phone…quite a lot of notes actually.  Quite an interesting first night in five points.  Lets just say…I’m not sure if everyone sees some guy strip and get in the fountain on their first night out…good material though. Lol.
• A sense of self and integrity when among the people you aren’t used to–yes you still retain this if you do it properly.
• Also, some thoughts on the type of people I want to be around, which I’ve been thinking alot about lately.

Yeah, so I think thats about it for now. I’m very much at peace. I feel fantastic.  Really happy about how things are moving.  Kayley and I are on good, even great terms.  I am quite happy with the changes I have made. I am getting lots of work done.  Lots of interesting people are around. Getting out a lot, spending a lot of time outside.  Getting in shape (man my thighs are killing me after biking all day!). Roommate is pretty cool.  Money is tight but I’ll manage. Job going well–is really interesting. Freelance stuff coming along.

Yeah. I feel fantastic. Now, I am not on drugs. This is just me, plain old me sitting on the front porch typing away, enjoying the moist air and the tapping of the rain on the gutters.   Lovely indeed.

They always say you only need to learn to ride a bike once.  Thinking that this was accurate I strapped on my helmet, grabbed the old bike that had been sitting at my parents house unused for a good ten years, and set off to go over to one of the coffee shops near campus.  Now, to be clear, to get there I’d have to cross at least four main roads, riding along at least one of them, and cross one of two quite extensive bridges, one of which has wide sidewalks but narrow lanes and the other having narrow sidewalks but wider lanes.

This is evidence of a peculiar plague that has haunted me for years. What exists in my head is completely contrary to the processes of…what is it called–ah yes, acting!  Actually doing stuff is a lot different than thinking about doing them. May sound incredibly odd but believe it or not, I do seem to have a problem with that.

I do not know how to ride a bike. I figured this one out about the time I almost stumbled into State St. I was awkward, clumsy, and had no idea how to ride a bike on a main road without getting squashed by all of the cars wizzing by. So I retreated, took a deep breath, and rode a few laps around the apartment complex. This made me feel a bit more comfortable so I decided to take a nice loop around the block, up Knox Abbot a bit (the opposition direction of the bridge) and take a nice right turned circle around the area.  This trip made me incredibly glad I didn’t actually attempt to go to a coffee shop.  It was quite enough for one day. I’ll have to work up to the whole riding to campus thing…especially since I actually want to try to ride my bike to school a good bit next semester so I can save on the parking pass (just getting one of the cheap ones that lets you park in the generic lots for rainy days). I am glad I have a few months to prepare…here’s a few things I learned on this bike ride.

1) I do not know how to even use a bike.   The only bike I had when I was younger breaked by backpedaling. Luckily I wasn’t a moron and knew what the handle breaks are. Still getting the feel of the brakes took a bit. The main thing I didn’t know how to use was the gears, which I found to be quite important. Apparently this bike is actually a pretty nice one.  I may not be saying this right but it seems to have 3 gears and 7 speeds….or maybed its 7 gears and 3 speeds. I think thats what they call it. At any rate, I had it on the 1st of the 3 for most of the ride  and couldn’t figure out why the bike was going so slow even when i had the other one on 7.  I almost lost my balance and fell over going somewhat fast down a hill on a neighborhood street because I tried to pedal once on such a low gear and my foot went flying. Yeah…so I figured that one out.

2) You have to make sure your bike is comfortable. First thing I did was try to adjust the seat. I did that before even leaving the complex. But it was still horribly uncomfortable. Maybe I just need to get use to it…but it sure wasn’t very pleasant. I may have to get spend the $30 to get a nice comfortable seat if I’m going to do this.  Turns out biking can be somewhat expensive…

3) Biking works muscles you only use biking.  This is cliche. I should’ve known it. I made it half-way around the block and my thighs were absolutely burning. I had to stop and take a breather, at which point some large dogs decided to bark at me.  Doing this and a full session of yoga today has left me exhausted. I am entirely out of shape. Good news is, it’ll definitely get me into shape. If I alternate between yoga, running, and bike riding I’ll be quite in shape in no time methinks.

4) Riding on main roads is scary and nothing like riding in neighborhoods.  When I was younger there was nowhere to bike to. The neighborhood consisted of four small streets that looked somewhat like an F with an extra prong and the top road making a T. It had wide streets, sidewalks, and only one entrance so there was hardly any traffic. So you could play in the street all you wanted, mozying back and forth across the road with little to fear. But you couldn’t leave the neighborhood because it came out to a narrowest of narrow yet busy road that curved while going down a steep hill and ended in a bridge–probably the most dangerous road ever venture out on. Yeah, so needless to say I never left the neighborhood.  When I came up to State St today it was terrifying. Cars were rushing by, it was noisy, I felt unbalanced. I rode on the sidewalk for quite a ways, even though Knox Abbott has a bike lane. I just couldn’t bear to do it for a good quarter mile…it absolutely terrified me. Finally I felt comfortable enough to go into the bike lane and it was ok. But I will forever treat bicyclists with much more respect while driving.

Yeah, so that about sums it all up. I am incredibly exhausted now and I’ve only been up for four hours (yes…I’ve gotten caught on this late night streak I can’t seem to shake…going to be at 4, waking at 12. Been talking with the roommate a lot and whatnot late into the night). I might have to rethink the whole ride a bike to school thing.  Leaving it at that…I think I’ll go drive to a coffee shop.

Could use this for a piece…even build a piece around it. Want to get this down before I forget all of them.
My car–been about 2 years since I’ve cleaned it out.  It may have never been detailed in its five year life. Cleaning it out I found evidence of every single driver who has had it (Jon, me, Jen, me, Justin, me and Kayley)

• old shiny lipgloss
• chargers from ancient motorola phones
• a used band-aid with the sticky parts rolled over
• These old black boots that are practically new, which have been sitting in there for years.
• A book of Mormon
• A VNV Nation cd case

Mom’s Van–I think this thing hadn’t been detailed in a good four or five years. The amount of junk in there….

• Phantom of the opera brochures
• A million Plackers flosser things
• lots of batteries
• Two cd players
• A glass shoved under the seat
• several old pairs of earbuds
• four pairs of sunglasses

Dad’s Truck–This also was pretty bad but it was particularly accentuated because it leaks a bit so everything is all brown and corroded.

• An old yellow piece from the board game Sorry
• A letter to Jon from 2004 stating he had lost his license for forgetting to pay a fine.
• A notebook of notes from his trails and ways committee + brochures and maps
• A prescription from 2001…
• Several rusted cans of progresso soup
• registrations from the past 4 or 5 years

I think there was more…I’ll have to think of them….should’ve made the list while I was doing it.